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The Thing with Two Heads

The Thing with Two Heads is a truly terrible movie, the kind that doesn't even have enough camp value to make it entertaining in an MST3K sort of a way. In this 1972 Samuel Z. Arkoff fiasco, Ray Milland plays a bigoted transplant surgeon with "terminal chest cancer." He's pioneered a technique (at home, in his basement) for transplanting a head onto another body. Desperate for a donor, Milland's assistant (Roger Perry) gets a death row inmate (Rosey Grier) to volunteer for the job. Milland is mighty peeved when he finds his head sewn onto a black man, and Rosey grabs a gun and takes off, hoping to prove his innocence before the 30-day healing period is up and he gets lopped off. After this set-up, the rest of the movie is just one long chase scene, with the Rosey/Milland critter shot in one of two ways: Milland peeking his head over Rosey's shoulder, or Rosey walking around with a really bad Ray Milland head bobbing on his neck. Neither technique is effective. Police cars crash into each other, Rosey drives while Milland bitches at him, and a motocross race is added into the mix for no reason other than to provide a motorcycle for the two-headed Rosey to buzz around on. The resolution comes abruptly, and ends with all the black characters in a car singing along to the Mike Curb Congregation's "Oh Happy Day." Trust us — this all sounds kind of campy and wacky, but it's not the least bit fun, not even as a curiosity. Bad bad bad, and to be avoided at all costs. MGM's DVD release (of an Orion release of an American International film — it kind of makes you wonder who'll get custody of it next) offers this gem in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) with Dolby 2.0 monaural audio. French and Spanish subtitles, theatrical trailer. Keep-case.
—Dawn Taylor

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