The Thing with Two Heads
The Thing with Two Heads is a truly terrible movie, the kind that doesn't even have enough camp value to make it entertaining in an MST3K sort of a way. In this 1972 Samuel Z. Arkoff fiasco, Ray Milland plays a bigoted transplant surgeon with "terminal chest cancer." He's pioneered a technique (at home, in his basement) for transplanting a head onto another body. Desperate for a donor, Milland's assistant (Roger Perry) gets a death row inmate (Rosey Grier) to volunteer for the job. Milland is mighty peeved when he finds his head sewn onto a black man, and Rosey grabs a gun and takes off, hoping to prove his innocence before the 30-day healing period is up and he gets lopped off. After this set-up, the rest of the movie is just one long chase scene, with the Rosey/Milland critter shot in one of two ways: Milland peeking his head over Rosey's shoulder, or Rosey walking around with a really bad Ray Milland head bobbing on his neck. Neither technique is effective. Police cars crash into each other, Rosey drives while Milland bitches at him, and a motocross race is added into the mix for no reason other than to provide a motorcycle for the two-headed Rosey to buzz around on. The resolution comes abruptly, and ends with all the black characters in a car singing along to the Mike Curb Congregation's "Oh Happy Day." Trust us this all sounds kind of campy and wacky, but it's not the least bit fun, not even as a curiosity. Bad bad bad, and to be avoided at all costs. MGM's DVD release (of an Orion release of an American International film it kind of makes you wonder who'll get custody of it next) offers this gem in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) with Dolby 2.0 monaural audio. French and Spanish subtitles, theatrical trailer. Keep-case.