[box cover]

Six Days, Seven Nights

A fashion magazine editor (Anne Heche) and her fiancee (David Schwimmer) go on a South Pacific vacation, but when she takes a side trip with a local pilot (Harrison Ford), the two crash on a deserted island and must find their way back to civilization. Oh yeah, they hate each other as well, meaning they will wind up doing the monkey-stuff by the time this dismal movie offers us a merciful escape from the previous two hours. Pertinent information gleaned from a single viewing of Six Days, Seven Nights includes:

  • If you're going to remake The African Queen, don't borrow heavily from episodes of Gilligan's Island
  • Harrison Ford has been replaced by an evil double who can't act
  • It's hard to accept any actress as a vanguard feminist when she makes a movie and wears nothing but skimpy, wet clothes
  • "Schwimmer" will undoubtedly become a new English synonym for "annoying" and perhaps "grating"
  • Watching this movie is only slightly more enjoyable than drinking your own urine

File under "Another Summer Movie We Didn't Need."

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